By Justice (R) Markandey Katju

While millions of Indians struggle with poverty, unemployment, and inequality, the cow is having the time of her life.

A four-day Gau Mahakumbh (Cow Conclave) just concluded in Jaipur (September 4–7), where cow devotees gathered in large numbers to discuss the medicinal wonders of cow urine, the magic of dung-based construction materials, and the divine destiny of Gaumata.

Inspired by this, I propose a new Bollywood blockbuster:
“Dawn of the Planet of the Cows” — a film where cows break free from their enclosures, form a revolutionary army, and subjugate humans to serve them. Cows would roam freely through Parliament, issue legislation, and bless citizens with gomutra showers from open jeeps. Humans, meanwhile, would be rounded up and herded into shelters, where they’d chant Jai Go-Mata in unison.

Trust me — this would make more money than Pathaan, Sholay, or even Avengers: Endgame.

Let’s face it: in India today, cows are safer than many human beings. They have their own militias (gau rakshaks), their own rights (often unchallenged), and in some states, greater political protection than minorities, women, or the poor. Even the suspicion of beef consumption can lead to violence — lynchings have occurred over mere allegations.

Meanwhile, the elderly beg for pensions, children go hungry, and Dalits are still denied dignity. But the cow is sacred. The cow is sovereign.

Forget Ram Rajya. We are well on our way to Gau Rajya.

Jai Go-Mata! Jai Go-Mutra! Jai Cowism!